Working in the restaurant industry has brought to light a few things.
Most vividly is the lack of knowledge or perhaps desire of patrons to employ basic etiquette and in some cases exhibit common human decency.
So I'm going to just give a few tips to help my readers out so they can avoid these pit falls.
Basic Restaurant Manners: From a Server's Point of View
- When a server greats you, don't respond with your drink order or the name of an appetizer. The server is trying to start your service off on the right foot by being warm and welcoming. Cutting them off and demanding things right off the bat is a great way to ensure poor and cold service.
- Just say thank you. Servers know you didn't come there to talk to them, you came there to talk to your party. However when he/she refills your drink or takes your dirty plate it doesn't kill to say "thank you" and return to your conversation.
- Don't re-write the menu. I totally understand dietary restrictions for those with celiac disease, lactose intolerance, diabetes, etc. However, there is a vast difference between saying "hold the cheese" or "no bun" and creating a whole new dish out of ingredients you've read through the whole menu. IF you want to design a dish...cook at home.
- Be aware of how busy it is. Servers know you came there to eat...but so did the other 75 patrons. If a restaurant is packed realize that service may be slow, but if you're polite, it will still be good.
- There is a way to deal with mistakes and it is not by being irate or rude. If a burger is not cooked how you'd like or there was a mistake on your order or a dish was late, calmly explain it to your server. They are berating themselves in their heads as you point out the salad dressing is not on the side. You know why? Because they have to do the walk of shame back to the kitchen, put the mistake through the window to the very very busy kitchen and tell them "I messed up guys can you make me another salad on the fly with dressing on side?". You've no idea how awful that is until you see the glares, hear the sighs, and offered a meek "I'm sorry guys" to the men with the knives. Not that you shouldn't point out a mistake, you're paying to be there so you deserve to have it done right, but be a decent human about it.
- If you want separate checks...tell the server at the beginning of service. They do not have magic GPS units in their head that map each dish as it goes to you as well as the 3 different beers you've had. Here's how they organize you. Each table is a number and each person in a seat is in a different numbered "position". As the server approaches the table, the patron on his/her direct left is "position 1" and that continues around the table clockwise. If you order your food in an organized fashion (and made it clear you are on separate checks) your server can then enter it in the computer by positions and when it's time for the checks, pretty easily provide you with an accurate bill. BUT! If you are in a party that moves around a lot don't be surprised if one big bill is delivered for YOU to split.
- Tipping. Ah yes ye olde tradition of compensating underpaid staff and basically bribing them to put you first. I agree the whole tipping system is crazy but the fact is, those servers aren't making enough hourly to make ends meet. They depend on the tips to pay the rent and buy the groceries. That said, 10% is minimum. That's if service was pretty bad. Wrong orders, bad server attitude, no drink refills. 15% is pretty standard if your service was prompt, polite, and efficient. 20% is for when service was awesome. They helped you find a beer off the draft list you'd like, were extra helpful when you have dietary restrictions, kept your beverages full, were warm and friendly and basically just created a great space for you. If you've never worked in service you've no idea the absolute elation one can get on a crummy day by one table tipping well because you worked hard for them. It's a day maker.
PRO TIPS
- If you are in a hurry and go to a sit down food establishment. That is not the establishment's fault nor the servers. You should have planned your day better or have simply gone to a drive thru.
- Refrain from commenting on the food or prices in a derogatory manner while your server is around. They hear more than you think and and insulting the food within ear shot is just plane boorish behavior. Also many times they let the kitchen know...and they are making your dish...so just save the snippy comments for later. Mkay?
- Don't ever reference "Yelp" the app. Ever. At all. Don't order off the app (all restaurants have menus). Most of all, don't correct a server as she explains the menu and tell her what the dish ACTUALLY is by reading a "Yelp" review to her. Guess what!? She's been there longer than you have, or the person who wrote the review. You see the menu once, she sees it hours and hours day after day. Don't "Yelp" at a server.
There are plenty of other things that I've come across as a server that grind my gears but this isn't meant to be a rant. This is meant to inform readers of behaviors they may not even be aware of but can cause unpleasantness for themselves as well as the people around them and serving them.
Please be aware that people in service are humans too and should be treated with respect.
