Then there was a Luna

Harry Potter wasn't something I read as a child.  I was engrossed with Louis L'amour, Dear America, Anne of Green Gables, pretty much any historical fiction, and a few Christian fiction authors.  

When I went to college I finally watched the Harry Potter films and they were endearing but I was very busy with classes and not flunking out.  About Junior year I had random roommates I'd never met before and we became a little squad. This squad watched Harry Potter, a lot...as a reprieve from studying. We'd wear jammies and eat popcorn or treats from the 55th Avenue coffee shop, swap back rubs, and giggle like elementary girls over the escapades of these fictional kids fighting against "he who must not be named".

Fast forward to "out-of-college-Abigail" who listens to audiobooks while driving across the country in a giant Forest Service rig as we hop from fire to fire over the course of 6 seasons.  I listened to the audible version of the whole series....best best BEST Audible experience I've had!  The narrator draws you into the story with his masterful voice inflections and timing.  This is where my favorite character came to life for me. 

Luna Lovegood.  She was whimsical and a little out there. The other children didn't "get" her...except Harry who appreciated her soft and sweet take on even the most somber moments.  Without her encouragement and friendship, the story of Harry would have gone very differently.  

I've also had an affinity for the moon.  Since being a little girl I've loved seeing the moon and having it shine on me.  Laying in my bed as a small child I remember rushing down to tell my parents to come see the moon out my window! It's so bright! Sometimes it looked spooky.  Other times it created beautiful shadows in the orchard behind our house.  The moon has always been a special part of creation to me.  

Now I'm not one who believes in the metaphysical or astrological significance of the moon.  It is powerful and silent as it pulls the oceans back and forth but it's not really deciding that.  It has mass and with that comes gravity and with that comes an effect on the bodies of water on our planet.  

My person and I now have a puppy, and as she was a gift to me...I named her Luna.  

*Luna has been my little love for a few months now and it's been the best adventure to date

Be Bold

As a 27 year old woman who spends a great deal of my free time in the outdoors, I am fully aware of the many campaigns pushing women to be bold and confident outdoor women.  (Have you ever scrolled through the outdoorsy tags of instagram?)

I call myself a feminist.  

I agree that we should be able to walk down a street safely and in peace regardless of our attire.

I agree that we should be paid the same wage if we are doing the same job as men.  

I agree that there is still a long ways to go to have equal representation for all the sub-groups in America, not just women.  

I appreciate the efforts of those with the vision and energy to champion these causes.

But I realized...

Sometimes I don't want to be bold.  Sometimes I'd rather just be quiet.  Every second of my outdoor experience does not need to be about proving that "I can do it too" or trying to get validation from others because I'm so daring.

Yes settling for nothing less than equality is valiant, however I still need to be allowed to be uniquely a woman in the outdoors and process my experiences thus.  I cry when the sun hits an alpine lake just so.  Not out of sadness or grief, but from the overwhelm of the natural beauty that I love so acutely.  I'm still a tender and emotional creature and must experience the outdoors my own way.  Yes my experience looks different from a man's, however it is no less valid.  It is simply and uniquely my own perspective.

Women should be supporting other women's experiences, not creating a template of being a badass tough gal as though that were the standard we need.  

What I really want is to hike quietly and touch the flowers and climb the rocks and count the stars and smell the wood crackle in the fire.